An Ibadan Girl’s Guide to Your Dreams

I think my generation is pretty focused on huge achievements and hitting goals. That is a pretty awesome thing to be focused on but I sometimes wonder if we tend to sacrifice longer-term, sustainable achievements on the altar of shiny, glossy, immediate rewards that kind of look like achievements.

There has been an ongoing debate (sorta) about people publicizing the age at which they achieved what and organisations creating thirty-under-thirty type of lists. I think that is a strange thing to debate. If people achieve a feat at an age where most people are yet to achieve such, I think they should be celebrated. Now, I understand that this might put other people at that same age or older under some sort of pressure … but that is unnecessary, if you ask me.

Anyway, this is a guide to your dreams and not everyone else’s …. so here goes.

  1. Arguably the best advice I have ever received is “Do something everyday to get you closer to your goals”. Breaking a huge goal into tiny, bite-sized bits that you work on everyday can actually help you achieve that goal faster.
  2. I kinda thought this one up myself but its so fundamental and I think everyone should run with it – Do not obsess over mistakes. You are probably going to make a lot of mistakes. A whole bunch of them. Its okay to make mistakes but its not okay to wallow in those mistakes. I say make the mistake, learn what you did wrong and move on to the next mistake. Just try to never make the same mistake twice. And even if you do, that is okay too. Just keep moving.
  3. Speak positive. Religious or not, there is something about positive thoughts and affirmations. Speak your dreams and goals into existence. And make sure the people around you are doing the same too.

If you do not achieve what you hoped you would, when you hoped you would, do not beat yourself up. There is really no yardstick for achievements and success. You are your yardstick.

And if you achieve amazing stuff really young or early, celebrate yourself. Its not your problem that “people” might feel pressured by your successes. Flaunt your thing and flaunt it hard.

I really love this quote by Abe Lincoln. I hope you love it too –

“I walk slowly,

but never I walk backwards”

~ Abraham Lincoln


We should all be feminist | Free download Printable Funny Quotes T- Shirt  Design in Png

I knew what it meant to be feminist.

Or I thought I knew. 

It meant to be a man-hating, God-hating rabble-rousing shrew who will never find a man willing to marry her because no man will ever want to put up with ‘that’. ‘That’ being a word spat out disdainfully at the folly of the unfortunate woman.

I knew who I was and my stand on gender and women’s rights.

Or I thought I knew.

My stand was to support women and girls whoever they were. To ensure that no woman who came in contact with me lost her voice. To let every girl I met know that she’s a strong capable person who deserves to be treated as an individual not lumped into a category – woman- by which her every action will be judged and weighted. But when it came to being called feminist, naaaah. “I’m not feminist!” I would vehemently retort whenever anyone asked or attempted to label me. Every time I heard the word ‘feminist’, the image of the shrew would come, unbidden, to mind.

It all ground to a halt the day I asked myself “What then am I?” I do not believe that I should be limited in academics, sports, adventure or anything by my gender and I do not believe anyone else, regardless of their gender, should be either. I do not believe that anyone or their capabilities and abilities should be limited or shunned based solely on their gender. 

Like the dawning of day, slowly but surely, when even the deep crevices come illuminated. Slowly but surely, it dawned on me that I am, indeed, feminist.